Lifesong

Blessed

Wow, today I turn 30. I can't believe it's here. It sounds old, but I don't feel old. But I guess it had to arrive sooner or later....what? You're throwing around dates in your head, thinking the math doesn't add up? Hmmm. Weird.

Ok, ok, so I'm not thirty. I'm actually thirty plus three. I guess I might as well get used to saying it: THIRTY-THREE. I didn't fool you, you say? Once upon a time there was a girl who looked so young everyone thought she was at LEAST seven years younger than she actually was, and then she reached her thirties and apparently no one thought so anymore. The End.

Did you like my little story? It made me tear up a little. Because, seriously, when I was in high school, everyone thought I was eight. (The years may create some exaggeration, but not much). And then when I was in college, everyone thought I was in high school. And then when I was twenty-one, I got ID'ed all the time, because no one believed I was twenty-one. Well, I mean I would've gotten ID'ed, if I had drank, of course (Hi, Mom!), so that was a bad example. And then when I was a newlywed, people told me I looked far too young to be married. But back then, I didn't appreciate it, ya know? I didn't GET it. I was all mad, all whatever, I'm TWENTY-ONE and I'm sick of looking like I'm 12, doggoneit. But now, when no one says it to me, I think back and I would like to shake that 16-year-old Megan and say EAT! IT! UP! One day it will be gone, and trust me, you will miss it.

But then last week, a geek told me that when he rang our doorbell and I answered, he almost asked if my Mom was home. How I love that geek! (Oh, and I call him a geek with the utmost respect; he's from the Geek Squad, and he fixed my computer, so I mean no harm. If they can call themselves geeks, then I can, too, right?).

I find in my old(er) age I get distracted far too easily. Like what was this post supposed to be about?

Oh, yeahhhh. My birthday! Turning 30. Thirty-three, whatever.

But seriously, I don't really fret getting older. In fact, I'm embracing it. On this birthday morning, I will shout HELLO THIRTY-THREE! Where have you been all my life? It's been a long time comin', but I think we will have a fabulous year together.

I love my life. I serve an awesome God, a God I grow closer and more in love with every day, I have an adoring husband who is my best friend, I have sweet, sweet children that I treasure, I have a phenomenal Mom, brother and sister-in-law whose company I crave, and I am surrounded by great friends who know me well and love me anyway. And that could be said about everyone in my life. I am flawed, imperfect, sensitive, emotional, stubborn - but I'm forgiven and well-loved in spite of it all.

Yes, I am here with the ones that love me. And I love them so much it hurts.

I have been blessed.

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A Mid-Week Post to Make You Smile

I decided that while on vacation I was not going to take my computer, because I want to enjoy the time and I wanted it to feel like a vacation, which would mean not doing the things I normally do at home. So instead, I set a couple of posts ahead of time to show up this week so you all wouldn't grow tired of looking at my little off to the beach note.

So, rest assured there will be plenty of beach pictures when we return, but none for now.

But here's a mid-week happy picture for you. And it will make you want to say carlo for the rest of the day.

Happy Wednesday!

Bye-Bye...

Survival 101

I don't know what to tell you if you're being attacked by a bear. Couldn't help you start a fire if you're stranded in the wilderness if my life depended on it. Haven't a clue what berries are not poisonous. But I CAN help you if you find yourself alone with two small children for a long period of time. (In my case, I define "long" as greater than 5 days, but it could be anywhere from one hour to ten days.)

If you are in this season of life, where you are the Mom of a young child, or two or five, then you can probably relate. It's hard to go it alone. If you are older, perhaps you can think back and remember those days when your children were young. And if you don't have kids, you can think about how you might defend yourself against a bear while you pretend to read this (and then let me know! I've always wondered.)

After my Mom left on Tuesday, I was feeling a little stressed and overwhelmed about the rest of the week. I immediately started praying for God to give me strength to get through the week, because I knew I couldn't do it alone. But as I prayed, I started to realize what I was saying...to GET THROUGH the week. In other words, to survive until John came home. But that is NOT what I want my mothering to be, I realized sadly. I don't want to get through, get past it, make it til Friday, til vacation, til Christian is two - I want to find JOY in my role as a Mom, I want to ENJOY my kids, to CHERISH the moments we have, to laugh and dance and run naked down the hallway (that last one is kids only, just to clarify). That sounds a lot different than just surviving, doesn't it? And so on Tuesday night, my prayers changed. Instead of asking God to get me through the week, I asked for him to show me how to have joy, to reveal to me the precious hearts of my children, to show me new and fun ways to relate to my children, to have fun with them, to thrive in my role, this once-in-a-lifetime role, as the Mom of Ansley and Christian.

And did God answer my prayers? Absolutely. And you know what? Even when John is home, I don't want to just survive the week; I want to find this joy, this connection with my children, every week, no matter the circumstances, no matter what comes my way.

So, here is my Survival 101. Except I think I'm renaming it to Finding the Joy 101.

Splurge on something new. It doesn't have to be expensive, and the newness just has to last for a week or so, then you can put it away and bring it out later, when it'll be new again. On Tuesday evening, I was at a friend's house, and they had the Aqua Doodle color mat. And it hit me, WHY have I not thought of this before, with my carlo obsessed boy? So on Wednesday, we were at Target first thing, purchasing the Aqua Doodle. This was the best purchase of the week, perhaps of all my adult life. My tip: It only comes with one marker (whose crazy packaging idea was that?) so I bought an additional two-pack so both my kids can use it (well, and me. It is fun!) This has seriously kept my kids SO occupied this week. It has perhaps increased the number of times "carlo" is said in this house from 100 to 400, but that's okay. It was worth it!

Rediscover your friend the tv. I am not a big fan of tv for my kids, and it rarely comes on in our house. But on this evening, I turned on Sesame Street for 20 minutes (and yes, there were suckers involved, too - it may have been overkill) and I prepared dinner in a calm oasis of bliss. There was no screaming or pulling at my shorts, no "I'm hunnnnnnnnnnnngryyyy" or tripping over small children as I cook. They were mesmerized and it brought a usually stressful time of day under control. My tip: the sucker wasn't necessary. I thought Christian wouldn't be interested in watching tv so I added the sucker, but the tv was totally all that was needed.

Find some time to get out of the house and have fun. Ansley calls these adventures; I call them sanity savers. Even if it's by yourself, get out and explore, but even better with a friend. Today we explored downtown Knoxville with my friend Rachel and her kids Jackson and Julia. The kids had a great time playing and running and...there was some eating involved. Some GOOD eating at a place I'd never been to called Sunspot - YUM. My tip: Explore an area of your city that you have never been to. Uncovering cool things (like we did, such as a FUN playground and a cool candy shop), make it even more exciting!

Take something that is usually stressful and chaotic (in our case, bathtime by myself) and find a way to make it fun. I filled our big Jacuzzi tub with bubbles and let the kids bathe in there. But the best part for them? I got my bathing suit on and hopped in with them! I was able to clean both of them with no fussing, and we were able to play at the same time. My kids enjoyed this so much, we all spent 45 minutes here unwinding from our day! My tip: Play the "will it float or sink" game in the tub. This kept them so enthralled, they never wanted to get out. And Ansley kept wanting to find more objects for the game!

Make a special memory by doing something TOTALLY out of character or off-the-wall crazy that will just delight your child(ren). For me, this was allowing Ansley to sleep in my bed tonight. We have never done this before, but I feel she is old enough to know that it's a special privilege for one night and be thrilled by it. I was right; she was ecstatic. She danced around the room, jumped up in our bed and was grinning from ear to ear. Something SO simple (we have a king size bed so I will hardly notice that little girl is there!) that brought SO much joy. My tip: Make it a surprise by not even telling her about it until bedtime. Ansley had no idea until I moved her pillow and blanket to our bed. When she discovered what was going on, she was BEYOND happy!

Tonight as I was putting Ansley to bed, she told me "Mommy, I am very excited for Daddy to come home, but I have had so much FUN with you this week!"

It brought tears to my eyes, because I realized that God had allowed me to do so much more than just "make it through" the week. He has blessed me with patience and fun ideas and joy. And that is what I want my children to remember of their childhood - the time Christian spilled half a box of Rice Krispies all over the floor and Mom just laughed, the time we danced so long and hard to "Last Dollar" we all fell on the floor, exhausted but laughing, the time we pretended the bathtub was a boat and we were lost at sea and oh no! there's a white shark named Kota, the time.....

Well, you fill in the blank with some special memories with your children.

Rare

What is rare, you ask? That I'm posting when I should be sleeping? That I still have my sanity on Day Five of John being gone?

Those things are rare, but this, what you are about to see, falls smack dab in the middle of that category. Some days, I feel like all I do is break up disagreements, hear Christian scream because Ansley has taken a toy away, hear Ansley cry because Christian has grabbed her hair, say "Let's share!" or "Why don't we find another toy?" 50 times a day. And it's HARD. It's wearing, and some days it defeats me. I never really knew what to expect having two, and I know, like each phase so far, it will pass and a new, perhaps brighter phase will be lurking just around the corner. But for now, this phase, the one I'm in as Ansley approaches 5 and Christian heads towards two, is exhausting and challenging and exciting and funny and heart warming. But mostly exhausting. 

And yet moments like the one below define my days. I long for moments like this. I pray that there will be more of them as they get older. I wish every moment of every day was like this, yet I know that is totally unreasonable. But they do exist, and they make me think that maybe that brighter phase is closer than I think, maybe I'm doing something right in this parenting thing, and maybe, just maybe, these two couldn't live without each other.

Coloring....it is THE thing to do around here. Read my blog long enough and you, too, will be saying carlo. I hear this word no less than 100 times a day, and it's catchy. Sometimes I just like to say it over and over to myself because I'm weird like that. Come on, you know you want to try it. Carlo. Carlo. Carlo. See how fun it is? How it sounds sort of like color but yet so different that you have to laugh? Oh, and the plural, carlos, is even more fun. I'll use it in a sentence: Christian is TOTALLY obsessed with carlos. And carloing.

This morning, I'm cleaning up from breakfast. It's quiet (another one for the rare list), so I look around to see what the kids are up to. And this is what I see. I grab my camera, of course, and I'll let the series of pictures speak for themselves.

I wasn't telling Ansley what to do; this is just the two of them having fun, on their own. I love these pictures. I love how happy they are, both doing something they love, yet still sharing, laughing, sitting on the same seat!

These moments are happening more and more often, and I'll be ready with the camera when they do, capturing these early years of this amazing relationship.

Hello, Normal

I guess you could say we are back to normal. If that consists of a husband out of the country and Mimi in town and school-skipping so we can take a day trip, then we are back to normal.

Ansley is definitely better. She is the only one I can say that with 100% certainty. Christian is still a bit too fussy for me to call "better" and he has a little, ummm, ooze coming from his ears. I'll spare you the details. I'm wondering if I should take him back to the ENT doctor. I am still not 100%, but I'll say maybe 80%, so I'm well on my way.

We have had a fun week so far, and it's nice to have Mimi around for some extra company!

Ansley and Mimi having a little shaving cream fun:

Christian enjoying it as well, but outside for him!

Yesterday we took a day trip to Johnson City to visit Grandma and Pappa. The kids did great and we had a good time, but I forgot my camera, so I have no pictures.

Ansley was excited once again to have school today. Here is her creation poster:

We have been reviewing a few letters each day (upper case and lower case) and I think one of Ansley's favorite parts of the day is putting the letters and number we have learned that day on the window! She thinks this is great, and it also keeps them on her mind since she sees them every day. Christian is even starting to point out "A"!

We are thankful to be feeling so much better!

Blogging Schmogging

Blogging is for the healthy, I say. And that is why there are no blogs coming from this site.

Our ENTIRE family is on antibiotics. I think that is a family first.

And Christian? The one who JUST got tubes put in? He has an ear infection. AGAIN.

So, that is why there's no blogging or Flashback Friday or anything happy coming your way for now.

But soon, SOON, there will be. Seriously. We can't stay sick all summer, right?

The Unofficial Wrap-Up

So our first unofficial week of school is almost over.

I know it's only been four days, but it has gone very well! DESPITE the fact that I was a walking hack-fest (as in coughing, not anything computer related), and didn't feel great, and John has now come down with it as well. And Ansley is still sick. And Christian. But besides all that, Ansley has enjoyed her first week of school.

We have learned about God's creation, what He created and when. Ansley is working on a Creation poster as well as a Creation Book (but we're only on Day 4). We have had fun creation related snacks, ABC games, art, coloring, reading. We practiced our letters in a shallow bowl of flour. Ansley LOVED this idea! She wants to do it at least twenty times a day.

She knows all her capital letters, but we have not focused on lower case letters at all. So we are reviewing those each day, and then we play an M&M ABC review (another Ansley favorite!):

This week has gone wonderfully. Far better than I could have imagined! Ansley wakes up every day asking me what we will be learning that day. During a lesson one day, she asks me if drinks are allowed in school. Sure, I respond, why not? So she's sipping some water and we are working on our lesson. She was quite pleased with that arrangement. At the end of our lesson today, she gives me a big hug and says "I LOVE school, Mama!"

I'm all about being real, so when things aren't going well, you will hear about it. I know there will be days when Ansley (or me!) won't feel like doing school, she will struggle in a certain subject or get frustrated. Those days are coming, I am sure. But for now, I am thankful that our first week went so well, that she enjoys learning, is excited to start our lesson each day....and that she has a teacher who loves her and desires for her to love learning!

A Sunday Adventure

Have I mentioned that Ansley, Christian and I all have summer colds? Christian started pouring snot mid-week; Ansley got the sniffles a few days later, and now I have a cough that WILL NOT quit. John has a Germ Barrier around him, apparently.

On Sunday (we knew we couldn't go to church) we'd had enough of the snotty coughing sickness. So we headed to the mountains. That's always good for what ails ya. We prepared our picnic stuff (we have a stash for just such moments) and headed up. First stop: food! We found a beautiful picnic area (where the truck said it was 78 degrees!) near Cade's Cove and grilled some hot dogs while we munched on chips and fruit.

The kids always manage to find ways to keep themselves occupied.

After lunch, we headed to a nearby stream to play in. I think this is Ansley's favorite thing to do in the whole, wide world.

Christian loves to follow what Ansley is doing, so he had to explore the stream as well. The difference is Ansley stayed completely dry, while Christian got completely soaked. John tried to help him out...

but he insisted on going out on his own. (I Photoshopped the snot in this picture. You're welcome. But not the drool. A little drool never hurt anyone.)

The Smokies were pretty crowded, so we found an off-the-beaten-path trail, and hiked up it. In the parking lot, Ansley found a friend.

It was a beautiful trail. What I loved about it: quiet, easy trails, hardly anybody around, the beautiful cascade waterfalls going all the way up the trail, Ansley happily chatting the whole way, beautiful spots like this for a photo opp:

See us? Ansley wanted to hike out there, so we did. Here we are a little closer:

What I didn't like: the HUGE millipedes, the snake slithering across the trail, and more Granddaddy Longlegs than I've ever seen in my life. And of course Ansley picking them up ("LOOK, Mom!") and showing them to me. (A sidenote: Ansley asks me on the way home, "Mom, name some bugs that you LIKE." I could name a few. No, really, I could.)

Oh, and there was John rockclimbing with Christian.

Definitely a fun adventure, as Ansley always calls them. Christian slept the whole way back down the trail. A fun Sunday with my favorite people.

Look What the Cat Dragged In

I'm emailing at my computer, catching up, sneaking in my quiet moments of the day. Ansley is in quiet time and Christian is napping. Kota is out on the deck. (We put a baby gate across the stairs, and she loves to go out there and bask in the sun.)

But then I hear the door push open, and Kota: "Mmmm-OW! Mmmmm-OW!"

I know that sound. I know that wailing meow. That's the sound Kota makes when she has something in her mouth, usually Christian's sock. But what could she have in her mouth from the deck? I don't think I keep any socks out there, last I checked. I wonder what....

AHGHGHGHGHGHGHHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHHGH!

I look down, and Kota has brought a salamander in the house, via her mouth. The tail is gone. It's scurrying across my kitchen. Thankfully, I didn't wake Christian up, but Ansley comes running down. She immediately sees it, and ponders the situation.

If you don't know me, this may seem silly. But if you know me, you know my fear of all small creatures with more than one leg is a very real and present fear. Spiders are the WORST, but a salamander is not really something I want in my kitchen. Or home. Or anywhere within five miles of me.

Ansley's first thought: "Get it, Kota!"

But then as she sees it struggling to get away, sympathy overcomes her.

"We have to do something, Mama!" she pleads.

I can assure you there were no thoughts of "we" going through my head. If something was to be done, it was up to her. Otherwise, I would be paralyzed by my fear until Kota ate her, and then go about my day. When I see bugs, I am so overcome with fear that I'm likely to not do anything productive for the rest of the day, for fear there's another one just like it lurking, say, in the dishwasher or the washing machine. Possibly the toilets.

Never fear! Ansley has a plan for this little salamander she names Sally. She looks for the nearest small item (you don't expect the girl to put it in her hand, do you?) and finds a cereal bar on the steps (what? don't you keep cereal bars on your steps?). She grabs it, kneels down, PICKS UP THE SALAMANDER and places it on the bar. Just typing those words gives me the heebie-jeebies, and makes me wonder if my child was switched at birth. Somewhere out there is a little girl who screams at bugs, jumps up on the counter if she sees an ant, and uses bug spray as a weapon. But that little girl does not live in this house.

Nope, this little girl lives here instead. The one who, when Sally falls off the bar and scurries back toward the kitchen and toward certain death, makes herself into a human shield so Kota can't get her, scoops her back up on the bar and rushes outside.

Sally was unaware of the efforts underway to save her life. But she was grateful, I'm sure.

I know this because she sat there for a good five minutes, letting Ansley PET HER (another one of those heebie-jeebie words) and talk to her. Well, grateful or injured, one of the two. "You're okay, Sally. You're going to be just fine." Ansley purrs to her. Oops, purr may be a bad choice of words, considering Sally's almost-demise.

Then she goes on "You are missing your tail, but it'll be okay. You will be perfectly fine without it!"

I've always thought tails were overrated as well.

And with that, Sally disappears between the deck boards.

"Goodbye, my friend!" Ansley calls after her.

Yes, so long, Sally. And please, please? Don't come back.

When I was telling this story to my Mom, she said "Aren't you glad God gave you a daughter that can do things that you can't?"

Yes, I really am. And I always will be, so very thankful.