Lifesong

Four Fat Days in A Thanksgiving Haze*

*With my apologies to Jimmy Buffet.

John announced on Friday that "Come Monday, I will not be eating this way anymore."

And if you know me, you know that I can hardly pass up any opportunity to make up lyrics to my own songs. And then proceed to sing them. You don't know this about me? Hmm. Maybe it's something I only do with John.

So, ahem, here is my song, to the tune of "Come Monday":

"Come Monday, it'll be allright,
Come Monday, I'll be skinny and light
(Sing with me) I spent four fat days in a Thanksgiving haze
And I just want my jeans to fit right."

For Thanksgiving, we had, for the first time in quite a while (I'm thinking 11+ years), a merging of families. My Mom came over, as well as John's Mom and Joe, and John's sister, Robyn and her husband. It was quite a full house, with lots of food and fun. And food. Did I mention food? We could have easily served 5 other families.

 

This is the pie selection. For just NINE people, keep in mind. A chocolate pecan, pecan, coconut custard, pumpkin, and two "faux" pumpkin pies (made with butternut squash). And the food for the Thanksgiving meal? I can't even remember everything, it was so much. So here's a picture instead.

 

Ansley was very happy to join in and help prepare for the feast. Christian was happy to keep repeating the word "feast." Ansley loves to peel potatoes these days. Here she is peeling sweet potatoes.

 

I bet I could give you ten guesses as to what's going on in this photo, and you still wouldn't guess. You wanna try? See if you can come up with something, then scroll past it and see if you're right.

 

So what did you guess?

Here's what's going on: Christian is a HUGE Mimi fan. She got up to go to the bathroom, and Christian walks up to me and says "Where'd Mimi go?" So I tell him, in the bathroom. So he walks over to the bathroom and does this. It made me laugh. It still makes me laugh.

A rare shot of Granna and Ansley (I'll let you guess which one it is rare to capture a photo of).

 

This is just before Ansley exploded with sickness. She is still exploding with sickness, unfortunately.

After all our company left, we made a turkey pot pie with the leftovers. Well, okay, we still have (plenty of) leftovers, but we made a small dent in the turkey. It turned out yummy, even though poor Ans couldn't enjoy it, and just sat at the table sipping water.

 

A really wonderful Thanksgiving. And even though the title is not so serious, I am seriously thankful for the MANY blessings in my life - for family, good friends, and a wonderful Savior who loves me unconditionally.

Thankful

We are blessed. We are thankful.

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Top Ten on Thursday

1. Really these kinds of posts mean I have a lot to say, but nothing really interesting. So I combine it all with a Top Ten title, hoping it'll get your attention. Is it working?

2. Storytime: Once upon a time there was a Mom who naively thought that since she had a chatty first child, her second child would be much more reserved and, well, quieter, you know, to balance? Then that Mom had said second child and learned she was wrong. VERY, utterly wrong. She also learned that two CHATTY kids can sometimes prove to be very overwhelming. Especially when the second child hears the vocabulary of the first child and learns to say everything she says. The End.

 

3. Oh, but this boy is SWEET. He is a talker, much like his sister. But he is also sensitive and he can share, which is a word we didn't know existed in this house when Ansley was two. He sings Jesus Loves Me, points out and says caribou, calls all his friends by name without having heard me say the name first, and laughs a lot. He is so silly, constantly doing the goofiest things to try and get a laugh out of anyone. One of his favorite phrases is "Watch this, Mommy!" He loves to cuddle and snuggle and is just SWEET, SWEET, SWEET.

4. We saw some snow flurries on Tuesday. We were very excited. Christian has since asked every day since then "Where'd snow go?" Up North, I tell him.

5. As you may know by now, Ansley is VERY into helping me in the kitchen, and so I try to have something for us to do together in the kitchen at least once a week. Last week, we made chocolate lollipops for friends (okay, and some for us) and they turned out so cute, and they were so easy! You really should try this at home. Get a bag of chocolate chips, melt them in a Ziploc bag in the microwave, snip a corner off and squeeze into a circle on wax paper. Put a sucker stick in it, and roll it around to make sure it sticks. Decorate with sprinkles, if you want. Then pop in the fridge for 10 or 15 minutes to firm up.

 

We decorated ours with little dots in Ansley's friends initials, wrapped them in clear bags and tied them with a ribbon. Voila! A yummy, fun treat for friends. We had to deliver ours that night, and Ansley was very excited to take them around to everyone.

6. Last week we learned about w-w-water. We experimented with what dissolves in water and what doesn't. Salt, for example, does dissolve. Oil, for instance, does not. I had to have this in my Top Ten simply because I love this picture. Ansley was very into this experiment.

 

7. The elliptical has been my friend lately. Most of the time, it is my enemy, laughing at me in its little haughty corner of the basement, telling me that I'm too lazy to get on it. Most of the time, it's right. But not this week! Perhaps I'm moving closer to being that fitness guru I've always dreamed about.

But probably not. Most likely, just a short burst of energy that will be gone by next week.

8. Last weekend, John and Ansley had their first date night. I couldn't inform Ansley until Friday, because otherwise she has a little impatient streak that prevents her from being pleasant until said event arrives. I don't know where she gets that from. Anyway, they went out to dinner (where Ansley had corn dogs and a chocolate smoothie) and saw Madagascar 2. It was Ansley's idea to get all dressed up, and she looked seriously adorable with her Daddy, heading out the door.

 

In case you are wondering, they are both dancing and singing "We like to MOVE IT, MOVE IT!"

9. It is so quiet in my house, I feel absolutely certain both kids are asleep. I know I've said that before and have been wrong, but I am feeling pretty confident that I am right today. Here is the mathematical equation I am basing that on: one late night + one early morning + a morning of exhausting play = very tired kids. Who says you won't use math EVERY day of your life? Yeah. Oh, right, me at 15, that's who. And again at 19 (darn that trig!) and then again at years 20-21.

10. Ansley's favorite song in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD is Would You Go With Me? by Josh Turner. (She has actually said that yes, she would go with him, because she loves his voice.) Unfortunately, we have the CD. And I say unfortunately because Ansley knows this, and asks to hear it over and over and over and over, all while singing at the top of her lungs, IF I TOLD YOU MY HEART COULDN'T BEAT ONE MORE MINUTE WITHOUT YOU, GIRL!" And then shouts AGAIN! when it's over. Which makes Christian shout "AGAIN!" every time it's over. Which makes ME have this ONE song stuck in my head day after day after day after day. I think when I am 80 years old and hear this song, I will instantly be taken back to the image of my kids and I, driving along in the van, singing as loud as we can with the windows rolled down, hair blowing, laughing. And know that those moments, the ones I am living now, will one day be the memories I have to look back on. These are some good times.

Tagged

I was tagged by my friend Amber to list seven random things about me that most people probably don't know. So, let's see how well I do. Let me know how many of these things you didn't know about me. Here goes....

1. I have never had a cavity in my life. Therefore, I love going to the dentist. Without root canals and drilling, and getting told what great teeth I have, sitting in that dentist chair is quite enjoyable. For me.

2. There are only TWO people (and you know who you are) who have ever seen me clog, outside of John, in my adult life. Yes, it takes a lot for me to get up and start clogging away....I'm not above bribes. But mostly it's because sheer exhaustion does take over. That clogging is tougher than I remember on the ol' cardio system.

3. I must put on Mentha-Shine chapstick before going to bed every single night.

It didn't say seven interesting things, did it? No? Okay, I'll keep going then.....

4. I can spot mispelled words just like THAT (that was me snapping my fingers). It does come in handy, but it can also be annoying, because once I spot a mispelled word, it really bothers me. Does it bother you? (You can answer yes to this question if you spotted the misspelled word in the previous two sentences and couldn't really concentrate after that. I misspelled "misspelled" on purpose.Two "s's", not one.)

5. I REALLY enjoy getting the mail each day. I mean, REALLY. Even if I'm so sick I can hardly get out of bed, I can't stop thinking about getting the mail. And when I hear that telltale squeeeeaaaakkkk of the mail truck, forgetaboutit. I'm already down the driveway. And it's not that I even get that much mail, personally, but I do enjoy the magazines, circulars, and the ocassional note. (Oh. There it is again. Did you catch it? Occasional was misspelled. A tricky one.)

6. I cannot, and do not, sleep with a sheet. (Like a top sheet. Of course I sleep ON a sheet.) I can't stand them. They are too cold and harsh, not at all soft, and are not warm and cozy. I have to sleep with a blanket against me. And if you have visited our house, you know exactly why that is.

7. I have not always had curly hair. When I was in elementary school, it was straight, then went curly again on me in middle school, where I used to iron in straight, so great was my hatred for my curly hair. (I have since learned to embrace the curly-haired me, and we get along quite well now.)

So, here are the rules: Link your tagger and list these rules on your blog; tell seven random facts about yourself on your blog; tag seven people at the end and link their blogs; let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

So, TAG! You're it:

Ashley
Liz
Candace
ReNee
Gina
Christina
Desta

Enjoy! I'm off to get the mail.....

Flashback Friday

 

I found this picture while visiting my Mom this past weekend, and knew it was one I wanted.

I wish that I could remember this photo. The exact moment - what I was thinking, what we were doing, why it was taken. What jokes my Dad told, did I laugh? What was said. Instead, I can only tell you this: It was 1998. I was twenty-three years old. John and I had been married a year. Mom was 51, Dad was 52. We were visiting them at their home in Greenville, North Carolina.

If you had told me then that my Dad had just nine more years, I wouldn't have believed it. And when I look at this photo, I wish I had remembered more. I wish I had enjoyed these moments more, instead of taking them for granted, assuming there would be years upon years of heaps and gobs of memories, all mine.

I guess that's what  hits me most these days. Why can't I remember just being with my Dad, enjoying the time we had? Why didn't I capture more memories, create more memories, or for Pete's sake, just REMEMBER the memories? And I wonder what I would have done differently, if I had known. Not that it matters - it's a cruel question - because there isn't a re-do. Like the heart-wrenching song says, "You only get just one time around. You only get one shot at this, the one chance to find out the one thing that you don't wanna miss." And then that makes me wonder what I would wish I was doing differently if another loved one was taken from me today. And if I would do things differently - say, be more loving, less grumpy, more forgiving, less bitter, laugh more, cry less - why am I not doing those things now? One shot, that's all we get.

I know that I've grown a lot in the past year. God has taught me a great deal. I know this because I can look back and read what I wrote last year at this time, and I just go 'wow.' For instance, I can very vividly remember not understanding how the world could just GO ON, completely oblivious to my pain. Now I know that the world is full of suffering and loss - my city, my neighborhood, is full of suffering and loss. And the world continues to go on in the midst of all of that. No sooner would I shout out "Don't you know my Dad died?!" than someone else would shout back "My daughter died!" or "My son was killed!" or "My parents died in a car accident!" And then my loss would seem to pale in comparison. Not that it's about comparing; a loss is a loss, and it's all how we deal with the loss that matters. But you get my point: I've learned that I am far from alone in my grief, even though I felt very alone last year.

When I look at this picture, I see a young girl who didn't know how good she had it. At least, I don't think she did. I think she took for granted the fact that her parents would always be around, smiling for the camera with her. Except for the demon eyes (which I tried, in vain, to erase), I see a happy girl with happy parents. I like to think that, mostly, that was our life together. With Jonathan, of course, our life as a family was defined by our faith, our love, and our happiness. It is not defined by our loss. And that's what I choose to remember the most, one year later.

"Someday when it's all said and done, I hope you see that it was enough...this one ride, one try, one life....to love." 

Homemade Marshmallows = All Fluff

I've heard that homemade marshmallows taste so much better than the store bought in a bag kind, so Ansley and I decided to try it out today. Make that, yesterday. We started the marshmallows yesterday. Because we are learning about the letter W this week, and w-w-water. The beauty of homeschooling is you can say things go together even if they really don't. (We did use water in the recipe, for the school records.)

But, wait, before you start calling me Martha, remember that I do have a five-year-old who LOVES to help in the kitchen, so that is what motivates me on a lot of our experimental baking. Especially because a lot of times, it's all about the journey, not the destination. Meaning, what we actually make can turn out not-so-good, but my Chef in Training could care less, because she just enjoyed the process (and hanging out with Mom, of course).

 So, back to marshmallows. If you've heard that homemade marshmallows take a lot of time to prepare and are time-consuming, I'm here to tell you that you can't believe everything you hear, but, in this case, that is exactly right.

But it wasn't really difficult, and my Kitchen Aid mixer did do most of the work. We finished making them yesterday, and then they had to sit overnight, I guess to flufferize. So this morning we woke up to the Pan of Fluff, and had to cut them all. Enter the time consuming part.

 

They were so sticky, so as I cut each one, it would stick to my fingers. Then I would pass it to Ansley, who would dredge it in powdered sugar, making it not sticky. By the end of this process, which seemed to take hours, we had powdered sugar ALL over us, the kitchen, and some on the marshmallows. Oh, but we also had this:

 

So here is where I will agree that all that work does produce yummy, fluffy, lighter-than-air marshmallows. But I will also say that the recipe called for peppermint extract, which I used, even though in hindsight I'm not sure why, because regular marshmallows don't taste like mint. So, Ansley wasn't crazy about the peppermint flavor, and doesn't really like to eat them plain. But, in hot chocolate, they are divine. REALLY yummy. (Oh, and next time we will tint them pink.)

So, yes, a MUCH fluffier marshmallow than what you can buy in a grocery store. And worth the time? You bet, if you ask me. And I guess you did ask me, since this is my blog.  Nothing beats laughing and chatting with Ansley in the kitchen, all while working towards a yummy treat!

The Camera's Back! The Camera's Back in Town!

It was never out of town, really. But I've had that song in my head all day, and I wanted to share it with you.

Turns out, it was just the cheapy lens my camera came with that broke, NOT the camera. Which I was thrilled that I could actually continue to take pictures, yet slightly disappointed that I wasn't going to be able to get a new camera. I know, it's not that old, but I have my eye on a certain new camera that I need. Alright, want.

But now I'll wait a little bit longer before dropping my camera so it won't seem quite so coincidental.

We went to Nashville for the weekend, and remembered and laughed and shed a few tears. The tears are less; the memories are more.

 

I am so thankful for my family. I am thankful for the love that we have for each other, that we are funny and serious and loving and goofy. I am thankful that our bond transcends loss, that our love for each other keeps us grounded and together and happy.

 

I am proud of my family. That we are each connected to the other. That we help each other and share and laugh and remember. That in this crazy world of dysfunction and separation, we are united. We are there for one another, and isn't that what family is all about?

 

"God is most glorified in you when you are most satisfied with Him in the midst of loss, not prosperity."  - John Piper

I am most thankful that my family is still satisfied - more than satisfied - with Him, even in the midst of loss. That suffering did not leave us angry or bitter, that we are not overwhelmed with despair, but yet still in awe of Him, the Creator of all things.

Yes, He gives. Abundantly.

Yes, He takes away. Sadly, for now.

But we are still singing. And we will always sing.

Together. As a family.

Flashback Friday

One year today.

It's still hard for me to believe. How long will I say that?

After a year, I don't cry in libraries, or grocery stores anymore. Mostly at home, with a thought, or memory, or Christian pointing to a family picture and saying "PopPop!" Or when posting on my blog and realizing how infrequently I type the name 'PopPop' anymore.

After a year, last-year-at-this-time memories have faded; happy memories have moved in.

After a year, it's still hard. It's still overwhelming. It's still sad.

After a year, I cannot watch this clip without crying.

A year has passed, and I still have a deep longing to see my Dad again. 

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

It's Only A Light Smooshing. Or Not.

WARNING: If you are one of the two men that read my blog, do not attempt to go any further today. Regular blogging will resume tomorrow. If you choose to continue, you do so at your own risk. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Today, I had my first mammogram. I figure I'd get that word out there in the open first thing, so if any men were tempted to read further, they will stop now. This post is not for the faint of heart. And especially if you have Asqooshaphobia (a fear of being sqooshed), you definitely won't want to read any further.

I'll back up: last week, I found a lump on my breast. I was mildly distressed, so I scheduled an appointment with my ob/gyn to see what they thought, totally thinking she would say it was nothing and not to worry. She wanted me to get a mammogram.

I had to wait a week, and I wasn't overly disturbed by it, but slightly. Then today was said mammogram. I've seen a lot of emails about mammograms, from it's like running over your boobs with the car to slamming the garage door down on them. I would smile and laugh, but didn't fully know what I was really laughing at, or if it was even remotely true.

Now I know. And let me tell you girls, I never knew they could quite go in that....position. I kept thinking of the pancakes I ate for breakfast that morning. So if you don't really mind someone grabbing them and pulling and prodding, pushing, move this arm here, arch your back, do a backbend while sticking your boob in this space now HOLD IT, HOLD IT, DON'T MOVE OR BREATHE while I smoosh it flat, then it will be no issue for you. ("This may hurt a little" she tells me.) AWKWARD to say the least. Not really so much about the fact that someone else is in there while all this is going on, as the positions that you must get in to get an accurate shot are .... yes, awkward.

So I get the mammogram, then an ultrasound, then the radiologist says he needs another trilinear bilateral echo (or whatever he said; I just made that up), so I'm getting a little worried. We go back for more pancakes, and then he comes in and says everything looks great for now. If it gets bigger or the pain persists, he wants me to come back and meet with the surgeon. (Not for surgery, just because he would know better what to look for.)

So, all in all, great relief!

And now I can laugh, knowing that all those emails are right on.

Playing Hooky

Do you remember staying home from school when you were young because you were sick? And you always felt like you were doing something sneaky and exciting?

Yeah, me either. My Mom always made me go to school, no matter what. (Hi, Mom!)

Last week, we took the week off from school since a.) we haven't had a break in ten weeks b.) the teacher was sick and c.) the teacher felt like it. Doesn't the a, b, c remind you of multiple choice tests? I am jumping right into my teacher role! Except when I'm sick, and then I want to call a sub. (Sadly, there are none to be found.)

So instead of school, we took the same amount of time we usually learn to do other fun stuff. (I say "other" because school is fun, of course.)

We made sugar cookies one day and decorated them. Ansley has finally come to the age that I always wondered when it would occur: she can actually decorate without dumping a lump of icing in the center of the cookie and then a whole jar of sprinkles on top of that and calling it decorated. They really turned out cute. I took some pictures, but I can't find them. How do pictures disappear? Ask my computer. She has ALL the answers. Apparently. We even gave some away, which was all Ansley's idea.

Another afternoon we played games in front of the fire while sipping hot chocolate. This was Ansley's favorite, and I know this because we continued to do it three more days that week. And that weekend. And this week.

 

We made homemade granola another day, followed by games by the fire. Ansley loves Sequence, and the girl is even getting some strategy! She also really enjoys Hi-Ho Cherry-O. That game is pretty much just luck.

There was lots of reading, and drawing. It was really a fun week. Made me want to take weeks off more often. Except for the whole need-to-learn thing.

So it's back to school this week. I mean, it's back to school this week! Yip-eeeee!

In other distressing news, MY CAMERA IS BROKEN. How do I function? I DON'T KNOW. I'll keep you posted.