The Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing but the Truth.

You know, right, that a blog is for recording the positive, happy, uplifting times in my life? When all is right with the world and the kids are impressively obedient and happily baking and loving each other while smiling at me, saying "Yes m'aam. And you ARE the best Mama in the whole wide world."

And on those days, I believe it.

But you must know, I'm sure, that those moments don't comprise the majority of our days. Honestly, I'm not sure all of that ever happens, but that's another blog. I think sometimes it's easy to forget that all is not perfect, despite what the bloggy-world can sometimes depict. Since I've received several emails lately on this subject, I thought I would write this while I was thinking about it. (And I am not at all being critical of the emails - I always welcome people sharing their thoughts with me. As long as they are nice thoughts, of course.)

So the next time you read my blog and think that my life is cupcakes and rainbows and sweet tea, remember this:

My house gets really messy, especially on the weekends.

My kids argue, whine, fight, take each other's toys, hurt each other's feelings as well as mine, usually within the span of one day.

I can assure you that look doesn't say "Aww, sweet Christian, I am happy to share my newfound toy with you."

I get tired of cleaning my kitchen at least three times a day, every day. Well when you factor in Chick-Fil-A for lunch, then maybe twice a day, but still, is gets really old. And, while I'm whining, so does cooking every meal and serving and cleaning and wiping and sweeping and.....

I cry when I listen to Barry Manilow. (If that doesn't reveal a deep seated flaw in me, I don't know what does.)

I lose my patience, my temper, and my cell phone, all usually before noon.

I am overly concerned with what others think of me.

I am irrationally fearful, and fight against fear every.day.of.my.life.

Ansley gets impatient, argumentative and downright sassy at some point during ALMOST EVERY SCHOOL DAY.

I don't give my friends enough grace, yet it's the very thing I am most in need of in all my  relationships. Things that should really be overlooked become the proverbial mountain in my mind. I am forever making something out of nothing.

I have trouble being still. Unless it involves reading, then I could sit still for weeks, perhaps months. But sit still to listen? Um, there are toys to pick up! Sit still to play cars with you? But the kitchen is a mess! Sit still and read to you? Don't you know an adult's responsibilities are endless?

Little fingers tapping me is one of my biggest pet peeves. Say Mama!, pull on my clothes, even yell, but DON'T TAP ME. It gets me in a mood faster than you can say Crabby Mama. (Which is actually kind of fun to say, turns out.)

And yet....I am fearfully and wonderfully made. God knows all of these things about me, He sees my imperfections and impatience and unloving, selfish ways, and still....He beckons. He calls me to be His, and wants me to know that I am deeply loved.

And on most days, I believe it.

Comments

[Cherish]

Thank you for this post! I feel the same way most days. I don't have my own children, you see, but I am a full time nanny to a 3 1/2 year old girl and a 22 month old boy (sister & brother). I have kept them since they were born. I have raised them in so many ways because I am with them 80-90% of their lives. I have been struggling a lot recently with all of the things you posted about. Problem here is that when I leave the kids, everything I do gets undone by their parents. I suppose their parents feel bad because they're gone all the time, so they give them whatever they want (food, toys, etc.). All of my discipline gets undone. Every day when I get here the house is a disaster when I left it clean the night before. The thing is, I have my own home to clean, my own laundry to do, my own meals to prepare, and a husband who is getting remnants of me when I do get home. I'm exhausted, I'm struggling, I'm unpleasant and I feel defeated most days. I know it is a season and I'm so thankful to have a job, this job, but I feel as though at the end of day I'm hanging on by a thread. I keep telling myself it's not for much longer, but I don't want to have that kind of attitude. I've been praying and I just can't get a hold of it all. Anyways, you no one cares to hear all of that. The bottom line is that you are not alone and I'm grateful to know that I, too, am not alone. It's nice to know that we don't have to be perfect and that our God is a forgiving and merciful God. It's nice to know we don't have to do it alone even though we feel like we do. Praying for you and hoping you have a blessed day!

MEGAN RESPONDS: Thank you for sharing, Cherish! (And I have to say, what a great name.:)) I am glad that it encouraged you today. I pray that you, like all of us, will constantly be reminded of our Savior's love.

[Marni]

Thanks for getting real girl! I needed to hear that today of all days. I struggle with all of those things and more. Especially now when I am pregnant and getting our house ready to sell and have no idea where God will plant us next. I have even been thinking that I can't homeschool next year given all my imperfections and responsibilities. This is not great faith that I am exhibiting and I know it! Thanks for the reminder that I am not alone. You are just what I prayed for today, a little camaraderie and reminder that I am loved and accepted just the way he made me. I can do all things through him!!

MEGAN RESPONDS: Marni, I am so happy that you were encouraged on a day you really needed it! And I know what you mean about trying to balance it all - I would surely fail if I tried to do it on my own! Are ya'll moving from CA? Praying for you during this stressful time.

[Jonathan]

I have a few comments from this blog.
1. Are you concerned with what I think about you? I thought I've always done a good job especially when we were younger of telling you exactly what I thought about you. ha ha I'm kidding. You're a great sister!
2. I'm making a mental note of the tapping with the fingers. It is quite possible that I might use this technique to get your attention in the future. :) :)
3. Even when frustrated you should give thanks to God for all of the amazing blessings he has given to all of us. I know I'm not telling you anything you don't know but you have a great husband and 2 fantastic children.
4. Barry Manilow? Tears? We have to talk further about this at a later time. He makes me cry too but probably for other reasons.

[tonya]

good job megan! i feel like shouting these things from the rooftop; oh, and add that i eat most of my meals from the stuff the kids drop on the floor (just had a pop tart from under the table). i want to be real for other moms for so many reasons...none of which include the fact that it looks like i have it all together and need to demystify the perfection so as not to become a stumbling block!

i think the main reason i want to be real is because i'm somehow holding out hope that someone will return the favor with a confession so ghastly that i can, once and for all, feel like i've got it together because i'm better than that poor schmuck.

oh, if we were all to compare ourselves to christ alone and admit that we have nothing good in us so that we could receive the grace that only he can give. then, we could focus on something other than our shortcomings and on someone who is perfect and true and worthy of our praise. liana found a broken toy this morning, and lamented aloud, "EVERYTHING'S broke-ing (broken)!" all i could say was, "amen, sister!"

[Sara Bouman]

LOVE this Megan. Oh and don't worry about Barry Manilow. I cry with that too!

[Erika]

Good post, Megan! Love the dose of "REAL!" You're absolutely right about the blog world often being too pretty and perfect. Thank you for helping the rest of us feel normal again. And hooray that we have a Savior who never got impatient, was never selfish, never missed an opportunity to serve with joy. Phew! :-)

[Tiana Greiner]

I love you!!

[Leigh Ann]

Great post, Megan! Thanks for being real. I think blog world is easy to paint a picture of what you "want" to be like. It's always a breath of fresh air when you meet a mama like you! Oh, goodness...look at the time. I'm supposed to be picking Ansley up right now, not talking to her Mama. :) Love you, and again, great post!

[Renee]

Hi Megan. Thanks for being real and for the reminder that God's grace is so real for you and for me. Thanks.