The weather here is so beautiful lately that I decided today would be a great day to surprise the kids by announcing that we are going on a Nature Walk. If you are my kids, you totally love this kind of stuff. I liken it to Donut Day in my world.
They're all "Yay, no more trapped inside, learning boring old stuff, we're free, we're FREEEEEEEEEE!"
Or maybe that was the teacher that said that? I can't recall.
Either way, we loaded up and headed to a beautiful park by our library. This park is not a playset and swing park, but a nature park, where you can walk on trails and explore nature, Greiner-kid-style.
It started off with such promise. They were off and running, looking around and exploring every little tree and acorn and insect.
I even came equipped. (I was so proud I managed to bring all this and remember it all, even with a baby. I know she's seven months old now, but my brain is not the same.) They each had their magnifying glasses, plus a nature bracelet (packing tape wrapped around their wrist so they could stick their "finds" to it), a sketch journal and a baggie for collecting leaves (that we would later use to identify). That way, we can easily be identified as homeschoolers so no one questions why my children aren't in school.
The only thing I forgot was Avery's jacket. It was pleasant out, but some might call it chilly. Look at that cute baby! Oh my. Avery was so cute, fascinated by every little thing, and especially enjoyed watching what the kids were doing. She was really enjoying our nature walk.
It's funny how things can turn so fast. Not funny haha, funny scary.
Ansley climbed a tree to get a leaf, but she needed a little help getting down. She asked me for help. So, I pushed one of the brakes on the stroller, and stepped over to help her. I've replayed this in my mind a thousand times, and I have no idea why I just pushed one of the brakes. NO IDEA. It was idiotic. Foolish. And, did I also mention, Avery wasn't strapped in the stroller because we were just going for a little walk and I was right there?
I help Ansley down and we laugh and then Christian says uh-oh. Huh?
I turn around, and Avery has rolled backwards in her stroller about fifteen feet away from us and is heading off the paved walkway and down a rather large hill.
And she's not buckled in.
I think I screamed and ran and things were blurry. All I could do was run after this stroller that was careening down the hill, and no matter how hard I ran I couldn't catch it. It was like a cartoon, where my feet just would not move fast enough but all these horrible images were going through my head. It seemed like forever, but it couldn't have been because the hill wasn't that long, and then finally the stroller hit the bottom and tipped over on its side and Avery was thrown out.
And she was crying.
I scooped her up and all I could do was say I'm sorry, over and over. Stupid Mama.
The kids were upset and then Ansley said "Mama, she's bleeding!"
I was sure I had scarred my baby forever.
Fortunately, after the bleeding stopped, it was just some scrapes and a dirty onesie, and a Mama who had just lost several good years in her life. She calmed down pretty quickly after I picked her up, and was even fine to sit in the stroller again while we continued our walk.
It was just one of those moments when you feel God's grace on you, because you know it could have gone differently.
As we walked, Ansley pointed out a HUGE hill with rocks all at the bottom, right across from where Avery fell, and we thanked God right there that it had been a smaller hill, with no rocks. And no water.
The kids wanted to leave, but we discussed it, and decided to stay.
We talked about it a lot, and it was a good lesson for all of us that day. We are thankful that it wasn't worse, and you can bet Avery will always be buckled in but that doesn't really matter because I doubt I'll ever let go of the handle.
Fortunately, kids get over things pretty quickly and move on.
But this Mama's heart still remembers the helpless feeling of seeing my baby rolling down a hill, oblivious to the danger.
I wonder how often this depicts my own life? Does God know that feeling?
Thankful for Him.
"For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer...." 1 Peter 3:12
Oh, Megan....I almost cried reading this. I'm sure that was incredibly upsetting! But what a great parallel to how God must feel sometimes with us. What's even more amazing is that He, too, runs after us when we're in danger. Sometimes the bumps and bruises occur, but they teach us a lesson. I'm so glad God protected your little one, and gave you wonderful teaching moments with your kids. What amazing grace!
On a similar note...I know the feeling. That hasn't happened, but we learned that Samuel is allergic to onions. OR at least can't tolerate them in the slightest bit! I didn't know this until we spent an entire evening caring for a helpless, throwing up baby. Well, you might remember that night, since I did text you. I felt terrible! If only I had been more cautious...If only I had stopped to consider what I had added to our grown up dishes...It's a terrible, terrible feeling. I've had to cry out to God so many times since just asking for simple wisdom on feeding my baby. But that feeling in the gut of your tummy....I think only a mama knows it.
Posted by: Leigh Ann @ Intentional By Grace | September 17, 2011 at 06:52 AM
I am so thankful for God protecting Avery! I'm also sorry for what your mama's heart went through in those fearful moments! Thanks for sharing what our Heavenly Father has shown you about the parallel in our own lives...Some days when I read about what's going on with you I wish we lived closeby for our kids to take nature walks together. (By the way, I like the masking tape bracelets idea!)
Posted by: Renee | September 17, 2011 at 03:47 PM