Lifesong

When We Love the Least of These

And really, we're all the least of these, because none of us deserve such grace. But these people are truly the least, the forgotten, the neglected.

I wanted to get this story down before I forget, because it's a great story.

The longer John and I are married (almost 16 years now), the more we both realize that we share a passion for food. We love food. This isn't always a good thing, but it's what it is. John loves to cook BBQ, and he cooks some really good BBQ, if I say so myself. I love to bake, and we love experimenting with different ideas, trying to create good things to eat. We have joked over the years about opening a restaurant, but the reality is it's just a joke. For one, we probably aren't that risky, and we really don't want to work weekends. Or weeknights.

So we started thinking, well what if we started a barbecue ministry of sorts, and used our passion and talent to feed others? So we mentioned it to a few people, and my friend Allison mentioned in a conversation that I should talk to Kristie. I had no idea who Kristie was, but I found her on Facebook and sent her an email that went something like this: we are really wanting to serve food, but have no idea where to start. Do you know of anyone who could use food for a ministry? And she responded, ummm YES. I'm paraphrasing. But she went on to tell me that her daughter, Sydney, who is 13, has felt the Lord calling them to serve the inner city of Knoxville, mostly the kids in the projects that just don't get much attention. But she knew that food would be a big motivator for people to come, and they didn't know where that would come from. Sydney and her family had been praying about it for several months, and then my email comes.

And we have our first outreach. We nailed down the date, and started working towards that. The night before we are to go, Kristie's husband calls John just to make sure we know that this is a dangerous area, keep your kids close, dress them down, and talks about the darkness that is present here. I must admit, after that phone call, I was a bit freaked out and questioning what I was getting my kids into (and us!). We talked to Paige's parents, because she was supposed to go with us, and told them all of that. They felt comfortable with her going with us, so on Saturday morning, me, John, Ansley, Paige and Christian headed out to downtown Knoxville. (Avery stayed with my Mom.)

I have to be honest and say I don't have a lot of experience with the needy. Okay, I have none. I have never been around poverty, or people who are hungry or go without. All the people I interact with on a daily basis are just like me, they live lives filled with food and toys and family outings and excess. And I'm not saying we should feel guilty about that, I'm just saying that lately I have felt a restlessness to do more. I feel like God is calling me to more. We have been blessed with so much, and I want to use that in a way that glorifies Him.

I also have to say that poverty makes me emotional. I just cannot fathom not having enough food to feed my kids. Not having money to buy clothes, or silly toys, or meals three times a day. It is very far from my scope, and my life experiences.

I prayed a lot on Friday evening and Saturday morning. My mind was flooded with two songs - the first one was "I'll follow you into the homes of the broken. I'll follow you into the world. Meet the needs for the poor and the needy, God, I'll follow you into the world." And that's definitely what we were doing - following God's lead to the poor and the needy. The second song was how girls will be queens and boys will be kings, when we love the least of these. We were also doing this - loving the least of these.

So these were the two songs I was singing as we approached the area where we were to serve. When we pulled up, I noticed two children playing by themselves on the sidewalk, watching us. I also noticed two police cars pull up, and proceed to go to someone's door. We met up with Kristie, Sydney and their family, plus another family that was there to serve as well. We made introductions and chatted, and then started unloading everything. I looked around, and I didn't feel scared or uncomfortable at all. Some people were watching us, and we were the only white people around, but I wasn't nervous.

Since there were so many people, we got everything set up in about five minutes. Then we waited. At first, I thought nobody was going to come, and we were going to have a TON of food. I asked someone if we should go door to door and offer food, but was told to never do that. So, we waited some more.

And pretty soon, people came. Some were suspicious, most were thankful. Some people asked questions, some didn't. Several people asked if we were from a church. Several other people asked why we were doing this. One lady that sticks out in my mind said "Ain't nobody done nothin' like this for us before. Ever." I also noticed that people were hungry. Where I thought we would make up a sandwich per plate with the sides, people would ask for 2, 3, sometimes 4 sandwiches with heaping helpings of the sides. John and I served every one of them - we asked what they wanted, and we scooped and drizzled and smiled and made conversation. We thought this would make it easier to control the food, plus since there were a lot of kids that could get messy if they were serving themselves, and we thought these people probably weren't served very often.

One little boy kept coming back for more food. I mean, like six times at least. Finally, it was towards the end of the day and we were running out of food. He had a fondness for chips, so I told him if it was okay with his Mama, he could have the bag of chips. (There was maybe 1/4 of the bag left.) His eyes lit up and he repeated "If my Mama says it's ok?" and I said "absolutely." He took off with that bag like I had just given him a million dollars, yelling "THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!!"

Another man shared that he didn't have any food until his food stamps arrived next week, so we boxed up some barbecue, chips, plates and drinks and sent them with him. He was very thankful, and extremely nice.

Ansley befriended a nine year old girl, Jamayla. They jumped rope together, ran around, talked and laughed. I overheard them discussing their favorite subjects, as well as things they liked to do. When we were about to leave, Jamayla ran up to Ansley and said "Hey, let's you and me get together some time and, like, hang out and stuff. Okay?" Ansley shook her head and looked at me, and of course we'd love to get together with her. But when would we ever cross paths? When would we have the opportunity to meet her parents? In talking with her, she shared with me that her dad worked for a moving company. It was the same company that my Mom had used to move here, and I told her that. Her eyes got really wide and she exclaimed "Your Mama moved HERE?" When I said yes, she started looking around and said "WHERE?" It was then I realized she thought I meant my mom moved into this housing complex, but I had just meant here in Knoxville. When I cleared up the confusion, she responded "Oh. I was gonna say your Mama sure is unlucky if she's livin' here."

(That's Jamayla standing next to Ansley.)

We inquired to some of the more open residents why there weren't more people. He told us that hundreds of kids lived there, but their parents would never come out into this courtyard because they were afraid of what might happen to them. We were in a concrete area right smack in the middle of the complex, so basically surrounded by the building. He suggested a more open area might attract more people. We are going back next month, and hope to go to the field next door to see if more people might join us. I am hoping to see Jamayla again, as well as an older lady that gave me a big hug and thanked me profusely.

After I posted the pictures on Facebook with the words from the song "Kings and Queens" song by Audio Adrenaline, Kristie texted me and said that there was no way I could have known this, but when they first started reaching out to the needy, Sydney said "Why should we eat like kings and queens when they have nothing?"

And it does give you something to think about.

We were really blessed by this. I went into thinking it would be extremely uncomfortable, and it wasn't. It taught me that people are people. Some people make different choices than maybe I would make, but they are still people, trying to raise their kids and live their life and do the best they can. It did make me think several times "Why are we blessed with so much when they have so little?" I know you can't change the world by just giving people stuff, so then it makes me wonder what the heart of the issue is. What can I (we) do practically that will help these people? And I think the answer is just to build relationships with them, because that is what will allow us to share Jesus with them. I am already looking forward to next month, and trying to brainstorm different ideas for bringing more people out. Won't you join us in praying for the least of these? And if you have any practical suggestions, I'd love to hear them!

The Kindergarten Wrap-Up

Christian finished up his Kindergarten year, and is now officially a First Grader! This was my first year teaching two, and it went surprisingly well.

Wait. That's just summer talkin'.

It was actually pretty challenging. For over half the year, I had a babysitter come one or two times a week to watch Avery for me so we could get things done. That worked out really well! But it was only once or twice a week.

(July 2012 to May 2013. Where is that little boy I knew?)

I used My Father's World with Christian this year. I really love their approach, with lots of hands on activities combined with biblical application and lots of books. It was perfect for him! He is now reading short books, and is really ready to move on and start to read longer books and stories.

(September 2012. Fun with Cuisenaire rods.)

My Father's World incorporates Cuisenaire rods, which Christian thought was a lot of fun. We focused on one letter each week, and that letter had a corresponding subject that went with it. There was a book to read each week as well. For instance, for "A" we learned all about apples, and had lots of fun activities and books that went along with that.

(October 2012. Christian's lapbook on apples.)

I supplemented with different things here and there that I knew Christian would be interested in. He really took a liking to lapbooks, so we did a handful of those throughout the year. I also used several Lego printables that we used for measuring things, estimating, counting and sorting. He loved this!

(November 2012. Learning about the election process. Christian is pleading for votes.)

I quickly learned that while Christian is an eager learner and picks things up quickly, he gets bored rather easily with most schoolwork. His eyes light up and he becomes a Model Student, however, when we start talking about math. Math seems to be his thing, and he has even picked up on multiplication this year because he's heard Ansley reviewing it so often. We had lots of fun math lessons with adding and subtracting, sorting, greater than, less than, and fractions to name a few.

(December 2012. Tornado experiment.)

Christian often listened in on Ansley's Science lessons about the planets and stars, and they both enjoying doing experiments together. He is picking up on a lot more than Ansley did at this age, simply because he gets to watch the older learner and observe her learning as well. He is practically a sponge, and he asks questions all day long. Most of them, I can't answer. (How long does it take to get to space? Let's go back and forth naming cities from the Bible. Does lightning really never strike the same place twice? Where does rain come from?) He's moved from "Mom I have a question" to "Can you type this question on Google please?"

(January 2013. On Christian's 6th birthday at his art co-op class.)

The above picture is possibly one of my favorite memories from his Kindergarten year, even though I wasn't actually there. I was sick with a stomach virus, so John took the kids to co-op. Christian brought homemade cookies for his whole class and passed them out. Then his whole class sang happy birthday to him. John videoed it. It was so sweet! For a homeschooled student, it won't be often that his birthday falls on the one day a week he is in school, so it was a fun memory!

(February 2013. Music time. Christian is often our comic relief.)

We also used Mind Benders during our school day, which Christian REALLY loves. They are logic puzzles, which I have to admit is not my strong suit, but he would beg for them every day.

(March 2013. Making birds nests with Mimi.)

Christian took one class at the co-op through our church, which was art. He really loves to draw and make things, so even though the class was technically for 1st-5th graders, he got permission to attend as a Kindergartener. He kept up just fine, and loved to inform me of the various artists they were learning about, as well as show me all his projects. It was so fun for him, and a really good, calm introduction to the classroom environment. Christian is a very sensitive boy, who prefers to be home with his family over just about anything else. Ansley was in the class with him, and he made some sweet friends as well, so he was definitely a pro by the end of the year, and very comfortable in the class.

(April 2013. Reading the Bible.)

Christian has an uncommon (at least in my opinion) love for all things biblical at the ripe old age of 6. He often wants me to read the Bible with him, and he is FULL of questions. He talks a lot about Jesus, and asks really good, heartfelt questions. I often say that I believe he will be a missionary or a pastor when he grows up, although he has never said this. It's like he just can't learn enough about Jesus, and I think at 6 it doesn't seem typical. I find it very endearing.

(Christian's ABC book.)

I made an ABC book for Christian this year, and each week as we learned a new letter, we worked on that page. At the end of the year, I had it bound (well actually Mimi did) into a Kindergarten book for him. I love it, and think it turned out so cute! He is very proud of his work this year!

(The "w" page.)

I will say that I have seen so much growth in Christian this year. He started karate this year, and that has GREATLY helped his confidence! His season of baseball allowed him to learn about teamwork and make friendships. I used to be a little worried about Christian, thinking that he would always tend to be clingy and not make friends easily, but I was wrong. He makes friends very easily, and made several friends in art and baseball that were all on his own. He laughs and talks easily with others, and he is very funny. He is not a "rowdy" boy, and is a rule follower and a good listener. He is super silly, and always trying to make someone laugh.

We had such a fun Kindergarten year! I am looking forward to all that First Grade holds for my sweet, happy, fun-loving boy!

Tales of a Fourth Grade Something

We wrapped up our school year this week, which means we officially have a Fifth Grader and a First Grader. One more year of elementary school is just crazy to me!

I'm going to do Ansley's end of the year wrap up and then Christian's next. Because I like to be all orderly and topical, but mostly because I took a picture of Ansley at the end of the year, but haven't been able to get a (normal) one of Christian yet. Really it has nothing to do with being orderly. Orderly left me years ago, or quite possibly she was never here to begin with.

Ansley had a great Fourth Grade year! I always love to see the areas of interest for my kids, watch what they really enjoy doing, see what they struggle with, and observe when things all come together. It's such a joy! It's not without many challenges and some heartache, but overall, there's joy. For now, I can't imagine not homeschooling, because it is a great fit for our family, and it isn't something I am burdended by. I enjoy teaching my kids. (I am burdened by my two year old, but that's not what this post is about.)

(September 2012. Ansley's favorite pastime.)

By far, Ansley's favorite subjects are Spelling and Language Arts. They always have been. She loves them, and they seem to come naturally for her. She consistently does well in both these areas. This year, we used A Beka for Language Arts, which is very thorough. Ansley learned all about subjects and predicates, nouns, verbs, adverbs, conjunctions, prepositions, diagramming sentences......to name a few. It was a lot, but she kept up and did a great job. We use BJU for Spelling, and Ansley loves it. We play games with spelling words during the week, and this combined with the work from her spelling book is all she needs to almost always get a 100 on her spelling tests. She loves spelling!

(October 2012. Apple tasting, graphing, sorting.)

Ansley has always loved to read, so while we don't necessarily have Reading as one of our official subjects, Ansley reads a LOT. She also did several book reports this year, as well as research papers.

Next on her list of favorites would be Science. This year we did Apologia's Astronomy course, and the kids LOVED it. Christian listened in on most of the lessons, and they both could be overheard discussing the planets, how far away the sun is, how the moon controls the tides, and lots of other interesting facts. This was a super fun curriculum for us. We really enjoyed it!

(Ansley in July 2012 and May 2013.)

Not so high on Ansley's list would be math. She has struggled to find her groove in math, and as a result, I struggle, too. We use Teaching Textbooks because it is an online program (I can bake some mean cookies and pogo ten times in a row on a good day, but I cannot teach math). I sympathize with her, because I am a fellow math-struggler, although my struggles came later, and not in elementary school.

(November 2012. The Volcano, AKA The Best Day of School, Ever.)

We started out the year using Winter Promise's Children Around the World program. I had such high hopes for it, and I still think it will probably be a fun curriculum to use, perhaps in a few years when everyone can get into it. I really want to love Winter Promise, but their customer service is just so terrible that I have been forced to stop using them. I didn't receive the full curriculum until January of this year, so we had to stop using it halfway through the year. I am still holding on to it (now that I finally have it all) but we were unable to complete it. Instead, I found some printables online on various geography subjects, we discovered a wonderful Stack the States app (and Stack the Countries) that has been really great for Ansley, and we read a TON of books on some great Americans from history.

(December 2012. Must be Math. Not really. Trying to drown out the noise. I really don't know, but it made me laugh. Some days are like this!)

Ansley also does a co-op through our church one day a week, on Tuesdays. We absolutely love it. It's been so good for her to get some extra enrichment classes that build her knowledge, boost her self esteem, and allow her to develop sweet friendships with girls whose families we already know.

She takes three classes, so she is at the co-op from 9 am to 2 pm. Each class is an hour and a half, with lunch in between. Her first class is art. (Christian is also in this class with her.) I love art! It has been so fun to see their projects, and hear what all they have learned each week. They learn about different artists, and then copy their styles with their own artwork. So fun and creative, and she loves it! We enjoyed seeing her favorite projects at the art show this week.

(Ansley's artwork.)

I love the pink flower! I'm going to frame that one.

(January 2013. Our very first Homeschool Support Group. Possibly my best idea ever. I really love this group!)

Her next class is Writing. Ansley loves to write, but towards the end of this year, she really started dreading her writing class. It was a good lesson for her to persevere even when things aren't going well, and I was proud of her for sticking with it. This writing class uses this writing program, and it's more formulaic that Ansley prefers. She loves to write creatively, and will often write her own stories, letters, and poems. But in this class, she had to follow a certain structure, and add, say, an adverb or adjective, in a particular spot, and she just wasn't digging that.

(Ansley's writing folder with all her stories from the year. This is the title page.)

She did really well in the class, and she became very quick with distinguishing the parts of speech as a result!

(Playing a game in writing class.)

Her third class was Science, and she really loves Science, so it was a great class for her! She would come home with all kinds of knowledge to share on the weather or atmosphere, and often have different experiments to do together. Now that I'm writing this, I really wish I had taken some pictures of her with her teachers. It really is such a great co-op, and she had such great teachers. It's also a fun day for Ansley to look forward to each week!

(February 2013. I couldn't help it, the same thing two months in a row. Our HSG at our Valentine's Day party. SO cute.)

All in all, a really great year. Lots of learning, lots of fun, new friendships, growth, and maturity. I can see so much growth in Ansley this year. When she loves a certain subject, she is a delightful learner. She throws herself into those subjects, wanting to learn more and know more and immerse herself in that subject.(I'm talking to you, insects and animals.)

(March 2013. 100 Days of School.)

When she doesn't love something, she really.doesn't.love.it, and it can be quite challenging. There have been many tears, pencils thrown, harsh words, and stomping off over math this year. There has also been much prayer. Every day, I learn more about my kids, but I also learn a bit more about myself. I grow in love and grace and know that His mercies really are new every morning. The most frustrating day can sometimes lead to the best conversations, and the struggles that we face (such as division) are great lessons for my kids to learn to lean on Him more.

(April 2013. School outside.)

These are such sweet days. They can certainly be frustrating, and when Avery is throwing a tantrum and my house is a mess, I can lose it. I don't want to paint this completely rosy picture of our days together. But after the tantrums are gone, and the house is cleaned (with effort by all), and we bake cookies together and snuggle on the couch with a book, I think these are good days. And most of the time, they really are. Learning together about God's grace is so much more important than math facts.

So that's my Fourth Grade wrap-up. I will do Christian's next, if I can ever get him to sit still long enough for a decent picture. We are going to soak in these lazy, do-nothing days of summer, because I know before I know it, school will be back in session!

Just a Swangin'

This girl loves to swing! So quite often her Mama swings with her.

(And apparently, we both love stripes.)

6:42 pm

Celebrating Mimi's birthday and Mother's Day today. We enjoyed dinner at Mimi's house, but I made strawberry shortcake for the birthday dessert. Celebrating the wonderful gift that Mimi is to our family! Moving to Knoxville has been such a wonderful blessing for all of us. I love the close relationship that she is able to share with each of our children - picking them up for special dates, having them over to spend the night, or taking them to various activities and spending time with them. Mimi helps out so much - picking the kids up from co-op every week, taking Christian to karate, watching one or two of them while I take one to a doctor's appointment, watching all three of them so I can get my hair done. She comes over just about every day, even if it's just a quick visit or to stop by for lunch. As a result of this, Avery LOVES her Mimi! Every time the door bell rings or she hears a door open, she yells "MIMI!!" (And half of the time, she's right!) As soon as Mimi arrives, she is the first to go running and tell her about what's going on. I love that we have her so close, I love that she gets to share in the daily ins and outs of our daily life. It isn't always pretty, but it's definitely worth it! For all these things and so much more, we are so happy to celebrate Mimi and all she means to us.

Outtakes

I love the digital age. You know how so often when things change, you can hardly remember what it was like "before"? It's so great that you can just snap off 500 pictures until you find the perfect one. But I do remember the excitement of getting your pictures back from the roll of film you'd dropped off, only to find that all the pictures were blurry or of the sky or something random.

Anyway, I love the one picture I captured the other evening of my family jumping off our porch, but here are some of the other ones that didn't make the cut. (You can see the one that did in the Project 365 album.)

I'm pretty sure she had just knocked Christian over (playing, of course) because she always thinks that's funny. He's usually a pretty good sport about it though.

Yeah, that's a bummer about John's head. (Oops.)

It looks like Christian hit Avery in the face, and the look on Christian's face here makes me laugh.

Love this silly crew!

Me Myself and Why

That clever little title just popped in my head, even though it really has nothing to do with this post. So you either get a clever title but nothing in the post, or a boring title with a little more something in the post. That's the way I work.

Maybe I'm having a mid-life crisis. Except it's not really a crisis, and just the word mid-life makes me have a heart attack because I think I can't possibly be mid-life while I still feel so young!

Right?

But lately I've just been all overwhelmed with life. Do you ever get that way? And not necessarily in a bad way, just like I'm becoming more aware as I get older of the fleetingness (I'll make it a word) of life, and how quickly everything is going. Yesterday we were newlyweds, today we're a couple with young kids, and then tomorrow we'll be empty nesters. Perhaps that's a little dramatic, but that's how my mind is working these days.

I'm on Prednisone.

I just felt like I should throw that out there.

And I have so many things I want to do with my kids, ya know? I want to make sure we play, and that there are fun crafts for them to engage their artistic sides, and of course memorize Scripture. And we need to make time for friends, and have parties and sleepovers, but also family nights, and I want to make sure they learn to love their neighbor. We need to bake together and read more books and we need to show them how to love Jesus with their whole hearts. And really none of the other things matter if they don't learn that. To be Jesus to a world who needs him so badly. Jewel used to sing one of my favorite songs that said "In the end, only kindness matters." I loved that song. But it's not true, it's not kindness that matters, it's teaching them, showing them, pointing them to Jesus, over and over and over and every day. And then again. And even when you're tired, then, too.

(I read this after I posted it and had to correct the bad verb tense. I'm sure Jewel still sings this song, so I shouldn't have said she used to sing it, I should have said it used to be my favorite song.)

And then pointing yourself in the same direction.

It all gets conflicted in my head.

I love baking and when my kids grow up I want them to bite into a chocolate chip cookie and instantly remember the day that we baked all afternoon and spilled flour everywhere and Mom laughed. (This hasn't actually happened, because who laughs at spilled flour? Crazy people, that's who. But I'm just saying these are the memories I want for my kids.) Hooowever, we need to be balanced and eat healthy and from our garden and cut out sweets and for the love of my soul, stop baking so many chocolate chip cookies.

How do we balance it all? I want to cultivate great friendships, for me and John and for my kids, and we can only do that by having people over, getting together on a regular basis, having fellowship. But I also want to reach out to the lonely and lost. It's good, it's so good, to make meals for those who have new babies and bless a friend with cookies, but I want to show my kids that we need to love others, too, not just the people who are just like us. Sometimes life is consumed with the people that are just like us, though, that it doesn't leave room for the people who are nothing like us.

Education. It is important, and I want my kids to love to learn, and read a lot, and be intelligent children who grow up to be intelligent adults. But education isn't everything. And it pales in comparison to teaching my kids what really matters in this life.

I want to reach out to the lost and lonely and hurting ..... but what does this look like in my life, that is so far removed from the lost and lonely? How do I become Jesus' hands and feet in the middle of my comfortable life, filled with baking and art projects and people like me?

I constantly have all these ideas and desires bouncing around in my head, and I'm just not sure what direction to move. I want so much for my kids before they are gone and out of my realm of influence and sometimes that can overwhelm me. And by sometimes I mean every day of my life.

How do we keep the focus on what's important, and let all the silly little things that don't matter slide away? What am I doing now that five years from now I'll think "why did I waste my time on that?"

You know how you read some blogs that pose all these tough questions and then answer them so beautifully at the end? Yeah, this isn't one of those blogs.

I don't have the answers. I'm looking to you, dear blog readers. I know two of you are out there.

I know, it's like a huge bottle of Prednisone threw up, and this is what came out.

On that note, I guess I'll leave you with that lovely imagery.

And if anyone has any insight or wisdom, I'd love to hear it!

 

Zoo Fun

We haven't been to the zoo in over two years, which is shameful. We really have a great zoo, not only in the amount of animals but in the huge play area for kids. We all had a blast today!

The two mini moms pushing their younger siblings. Until Avery started screaming "NOOOO!!! MOMMY PUSH!!!" so then I took over. Have I mentioned that girl has strong opinions?

Avery on the carousel. Oh my goodness, this girl LOVES carousels and slides. She had a HUGE grin on her face the entire ride. (This was just before the ride started.)

Avery checking out the rhino. If it seems I have more pictures of Avery, it's because the older kids were running off together (Anna Kate and Ansley and Christian and Hunter) that I couldn't keep up with them. But I must point out that this rhino made us a little uncomfortable because of our proximity to it. And also that I absolutely love this outfit on Avery. Toddler shoulders and backs are SO CUTE.

Avery also absolutely LOVED this slide. It was huge - you had to go up all these steps and then slide all the way down. She did it about a dozen times, all by herself, since all the big kids were doing other things. I waited at the bottom for her and she had a blast.

Christian and Hunter playing in the huge sand box.

It was such a fun day, and my kids were SO tired by the time bedtime rolled around!